


To Build a New World

by Facade_Expert



Series: Building [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Avengers Family, Break Up, F/M, Gen, Insecure Tony, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pre-Slash, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-13 10:48:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facade_Expert/pseuds/Facade_Expert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you loved me how you said you did, you would have changed for me"</p><p>Those words, said in Pepper's soft sad disappointed tone ripped Tony's world apart.</p><p>Thankfully the Avengers are there to build him a new one, a better one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The glass was cut crystal (only the best for true drinking marathons) and held the beautiful light amber liquid of good scotch. He swirled it around in the glass looking at the effect it had with a drunken fascination as he thought about what drove him here. Tony would be lying to himself if he said he didn't see it coming, not with the way Pepper looked at the suit. Not with the disappointed look she'd get if he worked too late or patted one of his bots. 

 

"They're a part of me Pepper." he'd tried to explain. 

"They're _toys_ Tony." she murmured, not quite angry, but judgemental. "You're an adult now"

 

He was able to pass off the Chintari invasion as a one off. How many times would he be needed to defend the world from aliens anyway? Besides, he was a _consultant,_ not an _Avenger_ and boy did that fact never cease to rub him the wrong way. 

 

_Ironman: Yes. Tony Stark: Not recommended._

 

But then there was Dr. Doom (seriously, he couldn't come up with anything more original?) not once or twice, but three times. Then came the Red Skull and suddenly he'd been offered a place on the team. 

 

"I don't care what Fury says, you've been on this team since you put on the suit." Steve had said (because Tony could call _Captain America_ Steve now! Awesome!).

 

So Tony had made a choice, and he knew, before he and Pepper had even talked, because she was barely tolerating his expeditions as Ironman let alone whatever she'd say about joining the _Avengers._

 

And there she was, arms folded, tapping her stiletto heel on the floor of the lobby in Stark Tower when he arrived that night with his biggest smile, almost splitting his face open. Pepper couldn't ruin this moment for him. He was an _Avenger_ he'd found a place in the universe in which he belonged and Pepper couldn't make him feel bad about this she _couldn't._

 

"If you loved me how you said you did, you would have changed for me."

 

He'd been wrong. She _could_ she _did._

 

So now he was sitting on his lovely leather couch determinedly getting wasted on a day that was meant to be one of his happiest. Pepper thought he hadn't loved him enough, that he hadn't changed enough. He'd bent himself over backwards to be a better man, to be a man he could be proud to look in the mirror at, but that hadn't been enough for her. And he didn't know how to change that, how to make that better, because he _liked_ where he was, he liked the suit and being an Avenger and getting to defend his planet or his country or whatever. 

 

But Pepper had been his love, his compass, his _world._

 

What did that say about him that he couldn't keep the one woman who'd cared enough to stay?

 

He downed the rest of his glass. 

 

"Sir." JARVIS's british tones cut through the silence. "If you consume anymore alcohol I shall have to call Miss Potts."

 

Tony sat up straight at the threat. 

 

"Don't you dare call her." he growled. He never wanted to hear from her again, not if she thought he hadn't loved her enough, cared for her enough. Calling _anyone_ would be better than her, even Captain fucking America. 

 

"Calling Captain Rogers." JARVIS responded and oh shit. He'd reached "say any thought that comes to mind" drunk. Fan-fucking-tastic. 

 

Oh well, he thought, slumping back onto the sofa, darkness beginning to cloud his vision. It looked like he wasn't going to be conscious much longer anyway. 


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Tony noticed when he woke up the next morning was that he wasn't on the couch.

 

He was in bed.

 

His bed.

 

And he had no recollection of how he got there. 

 

There was a groan from beside him and he tensed, had he gotten so drunk he'd gone and _picked someone up?_ Wait- no that couldn't be right, he was still wearing his clothes. He rolled over to look at his bed companion and winced. Besides, he's pretty sure no matter how drunk he was he wouldn't pick up Captain America; there was no way even his drunk self would be that stupid. 

 

"Morning." Steve said sleepily rubbing his eyes. Tony just continued to stare at the man, hoping if he looked long enough he'd start remembering what had happened. 

 

"Hey." Tony said cautiously, just because he's 90% sure he didn't have sex with Steve doesn't mean he had any idea what Steve _was_ doing in his bed. Steve sat up to lean against the headboard. 

 

"Feeling better?" the soldier asked, looking concerned. He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch Tony, but thankfully refrained. Tony didn't know what he'd to with physical contact like this. Tony closed his eyes and grasped at the pieces of memory that were coming together, then promptly wished he hadn't.

 

_"I wasn't enough for her Steve. Why can't I ever be enough for anyone?"_

 

Oh fuck, why had he been so pathetic?

 

"Tony?" Steve asked, moving closer. "You okay?" Tony shifted back automatically, not comfortable with the close quarters sharing a bed provided. Why were they sharing a bed? 

 

_"Don't leave, Steve please! Everyone leaves."_

 

Ah.

 

That's why.

 

Fuck.

 

In a flash he was out of bed and bolting to the bathroom. Steve followed his movements, trying to stop him but Tony managed to shut and lock the door on him. But Steve wasn't going away, he was just _there_ on the other side of the door, apparently content to wait him out. Tony went over to the sink and splashed some water on his face, blinking away the cold water, feeling much more awake. 

 

"Tony!" Steve called through the door. "I don't know how much of last night you remember, but you were wrong. About the team I mean."

 

And fuck if the last two journeys down memory lane were like that Tony would much rather not remember the rest, but his brain had other ideas. 

 

_"You'll all leave too. The Avengers. I won't be enough for you, you'll get sick of watching me try to fit in and you'll leave. I don't want you to! I'll do better, try harder. Promise."_

 

_"We won't Tony. We're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere."_

 

Tony shivered as he remembered Steve's comforting tone. He closed his eyes against the memory of Steve _carrying him the fuck to bed_ and begging Steve to stay, going so far as to cling to Steve's arm like a child. _Fuuuuck._

 

He dried his face on a towel and looked at the bathroom door. Or, more accurately, he glared at it. This wasn't fair, how was he meant to get out of this! Tony was used to getting out of plenty of drunken scrapes involving waking up in stranger's beds, waking up on random rooftops or living room floors, or even the time he had to spend the better part of the morning after taking naked photos down from the internet. This was decidedly very _very_ different. 

 

"Tony, if you don't say something soon I'm going to kick the door down." Steve warned and boy did _that_ get Tony's attention. 

 

"I'm fine Cap!" He called back, he liked his bathroom door intact thank you.

 

"Then let me in." Steve's voice was soft and commanding and Tony didn't want to think of the double meaning of that. "Please Tony." The thing was, he _owed_ Steve for what happened last night. Tony was an absolute pathetic wreck and Steve had been there for him. Not even Pepper had- Tony gasped and stopped that thought in his tracks. He could not go there right now. "Tony?!" Steve sounded more alarmed now. "Tony seriously I'm going to count to three and then this door is coming off!" Steve would do it to. So Tony opened the door trying to smile, but he's sure it came across at a grimace. "Oh Tony." Steve murmured and before Tony knew what to do Steve was pulling him in and _fucking hugging him_. What the hell?

 

If Tony was anything but exhausted and hung over he'd have pushed away, at least that's what he told himself. 

 

It couldn't be anything else.

 

It couldn't be that he felt at home in those arms, that he felt safe and protected.

 

_Fuck._

 

And in those solid, steady arms Tony came apart at the seams and mourned. 

 

Mourned for the life he could have had. 

 

Mourned for the life (the _world)_ he'd built himself that was falling apart around him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Tony doesn't remember how long they stayed like that, and he was torn between never wanting the contact to end and wanting to fight and snarl and bolt. He twitched, knowing the latter option was safer, running had always been safer. Steve's grip tightened and fuck Tony hated the serum. 

 

"You don't need to run Tony, you're safe." the captain murmured into his ear and Tony melted into the contact, then flinched at his own reaction. "Tony?" Tony was fighting against the hold in earnest now, he _couldn't_ feel safe with Steve, safety led to _vulnerability_ and people taring him down from the _inside._ Like Obie and Rhodey (no he was not forgiven for stealing a suit damn it)…and Pepper. 

 

"Let me go." Tony growled, if Steve continued to be this fucking persistent he was going to get _in_ and Tony _could not handle_ someone else disappointed with his heart right now. He didn't think he'd _ever_ be able to cope with any of the Avengers walking away and fuck wasn't that a terrifying thought. 

 

"No." Steve didn't even sound the least bit effected by the struggle damn him.

 

"Why?" Tony blurted out, utterly confused. People didn't _do_ this, people weren't _like_ this.

 

"Because you need this more than you need to run." Tony closed his eyes against the words, Steve wasn't allowed to know him this well, no one was. When the fuck had _that_ happened? "It's okay Tony." Steve soothed and Tony flailed, not quite sure what to do with his hands now that he'd stopped fighting. He tentatively curled his arms around Steve's back and Steve squeezed him gently in return. 

 

"Sir." JARVIS interrupted tentatively and Tony  stiffened in Steve's arms, but Steve didn't let him go. "Dr Banner wanted to tell you breakfast is ready." Tony pushed away in earnest now and Steve let him go. 

 

"Bruce? Fuck Cap, who else did you bring?" But Steve looked just as shocked. 

 

"No one. I wasn't near anyone when JARVIS called." 

 

"Sir, I think this would be an opportune moment to tell you that all the Avengers are in the kitchen." 

 

"Oh my god." Tony moaned, rubbing both hands over his face. He could not deal with a hangover and the _entire team_ first thing in the morning. 

 

"When did they get here?" Steve asked and Tony felt a sudden flash of pride. Steve had been getting better over the months about JARVIS. 

 

"An hour ago Captain. I felt it prudent to let the both of you sleep. What shall I tell Dr Banner?"

 

"We'll be out in a sec J. What are they _doing here?"_ Tony snapped, running  a hand through his hair to make it look less like a bird's nest. Steve raised an eyebrow. 

 

"Really? You can't think of _any_ reason?" he snarked. "I was told you were a genius." Tony opened the door and walked backwards out of the room to keep looking at Steve, poking a finger at him. 

 

"Hey, I am a genius." he insisted, turning around to walk into the kitchen.

 

A kitchen with the rest of the Avengers sitting around the table. 

 

Said table groaning under the weight of any breakfast food imaginable. 

 

Underneath a banner entitled **"WELCOME SHIELD BROTHER"**

 

He baulked and if it wasn't for Steve standing directly behind him he would have bolted. 

 

"Told you the banner was too much." Clint murmured, jabbing Thor in the ribs. 


	4. Chapter 4

"It is our pleasure, Man of Iron, to welcome you to the brotherhood of Avengers." Thor boomed (seriously, did the guy not have an _inside_ voice?).

 

Tony seriously had not idea what to do. There was no handbook on how to deal with Norse Gods proclaiming brotherhood and offering breakfast. The hangover _certainly_ wasn't helping either. 

 

"Tony?" That was Bruce, stepping forward. "You okay?" Tony shook his head to clear it slightly and made a beeline for the coffee machine. 

 

"Coffee, then stuff." he said pointedly, grabbing his mug hastily and pouring a full cup. He took a large gulp, the caffeine hit worth the slightly burnt tongue he got for the trouble. He didn't look at any of them for a full minute, taking the time to pull himself together. No one had done anything like this for him _ever._ He didn't know quite what to do with it, a lot like he had no idea how to deal with being on a team in general. But even with his lack of experience, he still couldn't help but feel warm at the effort they were making. At the banner that had very obviously been Thor's idea and creation coloured in red and gold. Ironman colours. 

 

"JARVIS said it was okay." Clint said, worry starting to seep into his voice and that made Tony snap out of himself, because no matter what shit he was going through none of the others should get insecure over _him._

 

"No, this" he gestured at the table "is awesome, flattering, touching even. Just… just" he swallowed. "I just need a minute." he took another large gulp of coffee then set the mug down. Logically he knew the caffeine hadn't had enough time to work but he felt fortified all the same. He leaned on the kitchen counter and turned to face them all properly. They looked a bit sheepish now and Tony cursed under his breath. He _never_ wanted them to feel out of place here. So he put on his biggest grin and walked over to the laden kitchen table. "This all looks amazing, thank you." he said and he winced because he didn't mean that to sound as fake as it had. Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Rough night?" she asked, a hint of judgement in her voice. Tony's smile faltered slightly before he could control himself. 

"You could say that." he hedged and fuck when did he loose the ability to _lie_ to these people? He sat down, pulling a bit of everything onto his plate. "You guys gonna eat?" he prompted. There was awkward silence as they all sat and also helped themselves. Tony tried not to look at Thor, the guy looked like someone had kicked his puppy. He would not feel guilty damn it, he _loved_ the banner, _loved,_ their gesture and he'd already said he did so there was no fucking _need_ for him to feel guilty and-

 

"I am sorry, Anthony, I did not mean to act inappropriately" and Tony could _not let that lie._ Because he really did love their gesture, that it meant they were _accepting_ him and _liking_ him. That he had a place with them. Just because he had _no idea_ how to respond to these gestures didn't mean he didn't _love them to pieces._

 

"It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me." he blurted out. 

 

_Fuck._

 

The avengers were going to kill him one day. 

 

They were all looking at him now, food abandoned and Tony _wished_ he could bolt, but he knew that would do more harm than good. Fuck this outcome _mattered_ to him, wasn't that just plain scary. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, just because he knew bolting was a colossal bad idea didn't mean he _did_ know what to do. 

 

They were all just staring at him like he'd said something groundbreaking. 

 

Like they had no idea that his list of people that gave a fuck about him wasn't two people before the Avengers. 

 

Oh. 

 

Right, of course they didn't know that, why would they know that?

 

And he'd just blown his chances of keeping _that_ to himself. 

 

"Um…" he began and winced at the raw tone in his voice. Why did all this emotional crap have to happen at once? He coughed awkwardly. "If you could all just do me the curtesy of forgetting I said that."

 

"Tony." Bruce reprimanded gently, Tony sighed. 

 

"Right, of course you won't. I'm just having that kind of day." he griped, taking another sip of coffee. 

 

"It's nine in the morning Tony." Clint pointed out, smirking. Steve tapped him on the shoulder, Tony turned to look at the soldier to see him offering two white pills. He took them gratefully, chasing them down with more coffee. 

 

"Should we be trolling the internet to find out what happened last night?" Natasha asked, Tony winced, that shouldn't have hurt him damnit. None of this should be getting to him but… this was the whole package wasn't it? 

 

"No!" Steve yelped, sounding scandalised. "It wan't like that!" 

 

The group turned to look at the man. 

 

Oh Steve. 

 

"Got something to add Steve?" Clint asked with a chuckle. Tony swore under his breath, this was not going _at all_ like he thought and now they were all _looking_ at Steve like he'd _done something._ Steve had been so _amazing_ last night and this morning. Tony couldn't let the anyone for even a second think this man had done something other than honourable. 

 

And hey, it's not like he'd be able to hide this from them anyway. 

 

"Pepper broke up with me." he blurted out. "I got drunk and Steve was really good about it." He looked determinedly at the table as he drained the last of his coffee. "Nothing happened!" he insisted and fuck his voice _did not just crack._

 

But…

 

He hadn't said the words out loud yet. 

 

Pepper broke up with him. 

 

Pepper had _left_ him. 

 

_"If you loved me how you said you did, you would have changed for me"_

 

His cheeks felt damp. 

 

NO! This was not meant to happen! This _couldn't_ happen. He'd had enough of a pity party last night and now it wasn't just Steve here. This sort of embarrassing display of emotion is what got him into this mess in the first place. It's the part where he was too emotional, too clingy, too… _everything_ and he paid the price in people walking out. 

 

"Oh Tony." Bruce  said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. 

 

Wait...

 

Hold on a sec.

 

Tony closed his eyes, swallowing his shock, he was _not_ pushing his luck by overreacting. Natasha wordlessly took his hand from the other side of Bruce. 

 

"The Lady Potts made a grave error this day." Thor murmured gravely and hey, the norse god _did_ have an inside voice. 

 

"Shit Stark." Clint, as eloquent as ever. 

 

"Told you so." Steve whispered in his ear from behind. "We're here for you Tony."

 

And fuck it wasn't fair! His head was pounding, he'd only had one cup of coffee. His defences were _down_ and no one was reacting how they were supposed to. 

 

"Where the hell did you people come from?!" he choked out, swallowing viciously trying in vain to at least _pretend_ he wan't breaking down in front of them all. Why couldn't he _stop_? This was his first official day as an Avenger he was not supposed to be spending it crying!

 

Natasha squeezed the hand she was holding, he couldn't help but look in her direction. 

 

There was no judgement, no mockery, just pure support and sympathy.

 

Fuck. 

 

The Avengers were going to _break_ him. 

 

But that didn't matter

 

Maybe he needed to break to build again. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic of this fandom and I don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own.


End file.
